Congratulations, George Lopez. Now Be Funny

If George Lopez really wants to be proud of his new late night talk show, “Lopez Tonight” on TBS, he’s got to be funnier.
The first episode appeared Monday night. As one of the first Hispanic late night hosts, Lopez and his guests took time out to mark the significance of the moment.
“The revolution begins right now,” he said while opening his show. And pointing to the large, multicultural audience in attendance to give the show a party atmosphere, he added, “this is what America looks like.”
He did a routine about how cultures in America were blending, with a punch line about baseball slugger Sammy Sosa turning white.
But, on the whole, his monologue floundered, with the exception of a bit about a product called Beano, a pill that takes the gas out of even Mexican food. “The gas is the best part. That’s how you thank the chef.” Well, at least I thought that was funny. And I wonder if that was a bit of product placement networks are so fond of these days. In this case, I doubt it.
A quick, unannounced visit by Ellen DeGeneres wasn’t particularly clever or amusing either. Maybe if I’d gotten one of the Jell-O shots she was handing out I’d have smiled more.
The next bit was a prejudice quiz, in which two contestants from the audience had to answer questions about ethnic people being interviewed in the street. For example, the question about a young African-American man was whether he’d been in jail (he had). And a Filipino woman was asked if she’d ever given a happy ending (she hadn’t). Interesting, but Jay Walking is usually funnier.
Lopez had some big names guests, but his interviews were uneven because he’s either friends with the stars or in awe of them.
Eva Longoria Parker came out first in a sexy, sparkly dress. There was no desk on this talk show set and the two sat in comfy chairs.
The discussion bounced around, from the grad school courses she’s taking, to meeting “Barack” at the White House, to flying first class with husband Tony Parker to the Maldives. It ended with her making good on a promise made during a demo show to try to dance on a stripper pole. Lopez mounted the pole as well and slid down.
Next in the lineup with Kobe Bryant, who gifted the host with a pair of his kicks. Lopez was clearly in awe of the all star, thanking him for making L.A. champions again. But Lopez did get Bryant to admit that he’s one of the league’s biggest s**t talkers.
“He talks s**it in three languages” Lopez noted.
Later in the interview, Bryant revealed that he’s designed a line of bling-encrusted watches and is lousy at golf. He also bantered with teammate Derek Fisher, a surprise guest in the crowd.
The legendary Carlos Santana was the initial musical guest, playing a rousing version of “Oye Como Va.”
Coming out of the box, “Lopez Tonight” doesn’t revolutionize the late night talk show genre. And if it doesn’t become “very funny,” it might be history, no matter the ethnic background of its host.