I’ll Have the Same

According to Herman Melville, “It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” Well, Melville may have been a great writer, but he obviously would never have made it in cable programming.

In fact, when you consider what’s passing for “new” and “original” these days, the phrase “original cable programming” now seems downright oxymoronic. With the networks taking their “if-it-ain’t-broke” philosophy of repackaging tried-and-true formulas to new heights (make that lows), today’s viewers should be more aptly referred to as deja-viewers. And with so many on-air spinoffs, knockoffs and ripoffs, some of those deja-viewers are bound to get a little ticked off eventually.

If cable programmers share a common mantra, it’s “Get Real,” as in reality TV. Having tasted record-breaking success once with Flavor of Love, VH1 has scored another record-breaking success with I Love New York. Next up: the Flavor-folks are counting on fans to love a spinoff that doesn’t have “love” in the title, Charm School.

Following in the grand tradition of A&E’s Dog: The Bounty Hunter, WE is also putting its money on the bounty. The new series Wife, Mom, Bounty Hunter will follow the real-life exploits of Sandra Scott, who just happens to be a wife, mom and — well, you get the picture.

But top honors in the keep-it-real category go to Bravo. Even with Queer Eye for the Straight Guy preparing for its fab finale, the network remains makeover-saturated. Project Runway’s Tim Gunn will bring his passion for fashion to Guide to Style, while anyone who loves competitive hairstyling (and who doesn’t?) will be flipping wigs over the Jaclyn Smith-hosted Shear Genius (formerly known as Top Hair). Add to that list the ongoing Top Chef and the upcoming Top Design and you know it’s just a matter of time before we get Top Drawer, Top Hat and Top of the Morning.

Not that the copy-category is limited to reality shows. And if imitation is a form of flattery, then some networks are their own biggest fans.

Disney Channel’s string of original movie megahits include two Cheetah Girls and four Halloweentown outings, and it will be heading back to school later this year with a sequel to High School Musical. Considering the audience Disney roped in with its latest, Jump In!, a Jump Again! sequel can’t be far behind.

The copycat phenomenon may be a sign of creative laziness. Or it could simply be a matter of giving audiences more of what they want — until they don’t want it anymore. But whatever’s behind it, cookie-cutting corners on originality can’t be a good thing.

All of which got me thinking about a recent study assuring the public that it was safe to consume milk or meat from cloned animals. Maybe it’s time someone studied the long-term effects of a steady diet of cloned shows on TV viewers. Never mind: It looks like the cable networks are already doing that research, whether they know it or not.