Frank and the Wise Guys

Each fall, Cable Positive's Denver chapter comes up with a fun musical theme for its fundraiser for local AIDS initiatives. This year's revue — unofficially called "Frank, Sammy and Dean Meet The Sopranos" — is titled, "Positively Cable 2002: Cable Gets the Royal Flush."

To satirize what's been going on with the Adelphia Communications Corp.'s embattled Rigas family — and cable in general — the "Cable All-Stars" will use the music of the 1960s "Rat Pack" (Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean Martin). The event is set for two outings on Oct. 17 at The Cable Center, with AT&T Broadband as the presenting sponsor.

The lyricists on the revue are Time Warner Cable national division programming vice president Paul Braun and cable veteran Erica Stull. Here's a sampling of the lyrics:

To the tune of "Fly Me to the Moon": "Then to make it worse/ Our buddies at Adelphia/ Just a couple small-town guys/ Who thought they were the Shah/ My options now up in smoke/ In other words, what a joke."

Adapting "Cabaret": "Revenues leaping, with cash flow to spare?/ It's time for a holiday/ Want Christmas every day, old chum?/ That's the Adelphia way."

Tweaking "That's Amore": "When you check your voice mail/ To see who's gone to jail/ You're in cable/ When your stock's selling short/ Thanks to dear Coudersport/ And you're broke …"

Video-on-demand figures in the revamped version of "The Lady Is a Tramp": "You don't like standing in Blockbuster's line/ Don't want to wait for their tapes to unwind/ Don't want to pay some outrageous late fine/ That's why the future's VOD."

And in taking a swipe at the Cablevision Systems Corp.-Yankees Entertainment & Sports Network spat, the group will rework "New York, New York": "These ninth-inning blues/ May not melt away/ Heat up the tar and feather, boys/ In old New York./ If we can't watch the Yanks/ We know the cranks to thank/ For this B.S., P.S.: No YES."

No Rest for the Farscaped

Not even Sept. 11 commemorations kept Farscape
devotees from finding a place to press their case for keeping the recently axed Sci Fi Channel series alive somewhere in the TV universe. If you doubt The Wire, just turn to Cable News Network technology correspondent Renay San Miguel for confirmation.

A veteran of financial and technology coverage for CNBC and CBS MarketWatch, San Miguel headlined his Sept. 11 "Hotwired" report on CNN Headline News with the "Save Farscape"
movement, and the Web's role in it. When San Miguel hit the tech beat the next morning, Headline had pushed more than 1,200 electronic-mail messages (The Wire hasn't received quite that many) from Farscape
fans worldwide his way – many of which hit the channel's PCs minutes after his report aired.

"The e-mails started coming in faster than [hero John] Crichton's space shuttle can zip through a wormhole," San Miguel told CNN.com site readers in a follow-up feature.

"I called Sci Fi Channel to get a reaction to all this, and a spokeswoman said the network wasn't talking," San Miguel wrote. "But the fans are." One e-mail that made the rounds last week said fans had pledged $83,000 to help save the show. At the estimated $1.5 million per 45-minute episode, by our math, that would buy about two and a half minutes.

HBO Rules

First, The Sopranos's favorite fictional gourmet came out with The Sopranos Family Cookbook
— "as compiled by Artie Bucco" (played by John Ventimiglia), the owner of the restaurant Vesuvio. The HBO Store area of Home Box Office's Web site offers the book at $29.95 a pop.

Then last week, costume designer Patricia Field — who dresses the gals on HBO's Sex and the City
— was tapped by Trio as a commentator for the "fashion undercover" segment of Trio World Fashion Tour. That six-part series bows Sept. 29 at 8 p.m.

Bobble Boom

Baseball fans aren't the only ones into bobblehead dolls. (Remember those Mike Piazza and Roger Clemens bobbleheads earlier this baseball season?) National Association of Stock Car racing buffs apparently go for 'em, too.

Fox Cable Networks Group, in urging affiliates to participate in next year's FX/Speed Channel NASCAR sweepstakes, is giving the cable folks the chance to get limited-edition bobblehead renditions of racers Michael Waltrip and Sterling Marlin in return.

Indeed, for those affiliates booking both promotions, Fox Cable is promising a bonus bobblehead (whose shirt is embellished by the Lowe's home-improvement-chain logo) — signed by studio analyst Jimmie Johnson, plus a "deluxe acrylic display case."

Madonna Television?

Popular music and sex appeal have always been intertwined. So it comes as no surprise that VH1 would penetrate this fecund field for a special —100 Sexiest Artists, a five-parter due Sept. 23 to Sept. 27.

In previewing the show last week, VH1 also released some observations by program contributors. One, by celebrity stylist David Evangelista about the artist who finished on top, just might grab the attention of MTV Networks programmers: "They should, you know, devote a channel to Madonna and her sexiness."