MTV’s sanitized, lip-sync infested VMA’s were mostly unwatchable last night. The event is so stripped of authenticity these days, it’s starting to feel like a charade. Even the drinking in the "Fantasy Suites" felt scripted, right down to Fall Out Boy’s half-hearted trashing of their suite. They threw around a couple of break away tables, or maybe it was some trays, but that’s about it.
Please god - give me a wardrobe malfunction, just for the fun of it. American Idol and the VMA’s - it’s like Round-Up for television. The music shrivels when applied.
Still, the operative word is "mostly" unwatchable. There were a few moments worth celebrating. Here’s your on-line guide to good snippets, so you don’t have to wade through all the fluff posted on the MTV site. I’ll update this post as I scour the site.
Warning - MTV hits users with Herbal Essence, Diet Pepsi Max and other ads. The ads are short but barely tolerable and the MTV site is swarming with them.
First, the bad:
Britney Spears dazed and confused strip club act beat out the Kid Rock/Tommy Lee altercation (not broadcast but posted on the MTV site) as the evening’s low point.
And now TMZ is reporting that Las Vegas PD wants to chat with Kid Rock.
I wouldn’t be surprised if we eventually find out that this dust-up was staged too. I’m sure that MTV’s link to the fight is getting a ton of hits today.
Over on the blog of Chicago Tribune’s Maureen Ryan most viewers rated Britney Spears performance as awful or worse than awful.
And Ryan slammed the evening.
Here’s what Mo had to say:
"Speaking of Kid Rock, the most frustrating moment of the evening came in the middle of a terrific, garage-y version of “Shut Up and Drive” by Fall Out Boy and Rihanna. How insanely good was that? Even Rihanna’s outfit was cool – it was a wickedly great homage to Madonna’s early style. That inspired Rihanna-Fall Out Boy collaboration should have opened the show.
But no, MTV cut away during the middle of the song so that Seth Rogen of “Superbad” and Bill Haider of “Saturday Night Live” could exchange some inanities with Kid Rock. I could have put my foot through the television, I kid you not."
Yeah, sing it sistah! Kid Rock said something about eating breakfast. I mean - wtf? It was a real stiletto through the plasma screen moment.
And now the good:
Here’s "Shut Up and Drive," from the MTV site - again, if you can put up with the Neutrogena ads.
It takes a lot for a band to rise above the commercial overlay but the Foo Fighters still got the mojo.
And Chris Brown’s jumpin’ rendition of Billie Jean.
I thought a low point for the network was Run’s House - the blingful reality series which mostly served as a BSP (blatant self-promotion) vehicle for the Simmons family.
The 2007 VMA’s are a close second.