Forum: Cable for Christmas

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'Twas the night before Christmas and all
through the system

The subs were all happy 'cause the techs
hadn't missed 'em.

The customers were all tuned in enjoying their
shows

And their pictures were crystal, without any snow.

The CSRs were all nestled all snug in their beds

While echoes of mystery calls flowed through their
heads.

At the computer myself I had sat

To take another look to see where our budget was
at.

When out in the easement there arose such a
clatter

It sounded like an installer extending his ladder.

Away to the window I flew like a flash.

I tripped over my chair and fell into some trash.

When what to my training-filled eyes should appear

But an old bucket truck just a-grinding its gears.

This truck it flew by -- faster than lightning.

It went by so fast it was really quite
frightening.

Then the little old driver then gave out a holler.

'Twas then I knew it was Saint Cable
Installer.

He stopped his truck and set out his cones.

He strutted to the porch like Indiana Jones.

He was decked out in safety gear from his head to
his toe.

It was 'cause of OSHA he had to do so.

As I opened the door he said with a smile,

"I know you've been waiting for this for
a while."

I admitted my shock he'd shown up that night.

He confirmed that my name and my address were
right.

Then he said, "'Cause I'm late,
this one will be free.

It's all part of the Cable On-Time
Guarantee."

As he came through the door, he wiped off his
feet.

This confirmed my thinking that his work would be
neat.

Into the family room he started to enter

And walked right up to my home entertainment
center.

There in the glow coming from the empty TV

I looked at him and he looked at me.

He whipped out some cable and hooked it up to the
set,

And then he connected the videocassette.

The wire looked like it was about to explode.

I didn't know if my set could handle the
load.

He stepped back and the cable wires started to
hum.

I wasn't quite sure what was about to become.

Then suddenly like lightning channels started to
flow.

I fell back in my chair and started watching them
go.

My house was filled up with a myriad of sights

Of laughter and tears that would fill up my
nights.

He gave me some sitcoms and series and more.

He added the older reruns I adore.

He left programs with music and sci-fi and
mystery.

He left shows about adventure and nature and
history.

He had shows about animals and human relations.

Several were game shows and others education.

Some channels on romance, and programs on food,

Channels with shows teaching to make things from
wood.

He continued to offer his televised features

Packed with stars, celebrities, athletes and
preachers.

There were shows about arts, entertainment and
learning.

Programs for the family, or whatever the yearning.

Then, in the case of impending disasters,

He added in the news from some local broadcasters.

There were channels of news and information

From right here in town to the rest of the nation.

There were programs with info from Capitol Hill

And sleazy news stories about Monica and Bill.

Channels with talk shows with star-studded guests.

There was so much to choose from it was hard to
digest.

There were even some programs of inspiration,

And outdoor shows about recreation.

I couldn't believe the shows of all sorts

You should see the multitudes of programs on
sports.

I couldn't believe the overwhelming action.

By then I'd had enough to bring satisfaction.

From traditional, old-fashioned, classical acts

To the latest cutting-edge technological facts.

He brought me programs that would enhance my life

By bringing some channels geared just for my wife.

Programs on music, programs on Love,

Then even more programs on all of the above.

The list of attractions continued to unravel

With programs on places and programs on travel.

Money and science and old movie classics.

And some music videos with all of their antics.

On and on the programs continued to flow

With dramas and comedies and reality shows.

And even though they're controversial,

He left some home shopping and infomercials.

My converter was packed and the schedule was full.

I knew that my evenings would never be dull.

He thanked me profusely and prepared to leave,

Then he said, "That's not all, if you
can believe."

He zapped me some premium channels and more,

Commercial-free programs and movies galore.

Then when I was sure that was all he could do

He ordered me movies on pay-per-view.

With so many channels I felt like a hog.

He completed the work order and filled out the
log.

As he finished, he said, "If you think your
TV's cuter,

Just wait 'n' see what we'll do
with your phone and computer."

Then he sprang to his truck, on his mike gave a
yell,

And away he sprinted faster than heck.

But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he sped away,

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a great
day!"

G. Scott Flake

General manager

CableVision of Parker, Ariz./Blythe, Calif.

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