11:55 a.m. — Apparently, local car king Dealin' Doug decided stay-at-home adults were perfect for his ad for his Skyline Mitsubishi dealership. Either that, or he is hoping to attract the next generation of drivers now glued to Cartoon Network's Tom and Jerry Kids.
Noon — Rocky's Auto, Denver's most belligerent gadfly used-car dealership, has bought a whole half-hour block of time for a painfully kitschy pseudo-variety show dubbed "The Greatest Car Show on Earth," on hybrid broadcast-cable net Pax TV. In the greatest used-car advertising tradition, pitchman Shaggy and company lurch through hammy vaudevillian comedy amidst bad disco lighting.
One wonders if family-values-leaning Pax risks a thunderbolt from above for this kind of garish sales pitch under the guise of TV programming.
12:20 p.m. — Attention all couch potatoes: Local furnishing outlet Sofa Mart took a spot during the E! True Hollywood Story about Richard Simmons — a guy who has spent a career demanding that his followers get up off the couch in the first place.
12:30 p.m. — Cable News Network was good enough to put up a public-service announcement for Colorado Quitline, a service that helps people quit smoking. It aired just before an update on the Iraq war, which showed footage of smoldering buildings.
12:58 p.m. — Dealin' Doug's on ESPN this time, running against SpeedWorld's motocross competition. Guess when you crash your bike on a 40-foot dirt mound, you need something to get yourself home.
1:20 p.m. — Denver's Nolan RV dealership parks an ad next to Food Network's Calling All Cooks. Pop-ups for pastry lovers, anyone?
1:45 p.m. — Dealin' Doug's on Fox News Channel. His spot screens just before an update on the Laci Peterson case, which includes commentary on the fact Scott Peterson tried to sell the family car.
2 p.m. — Sil Terhar Jaguar apparently thought the top of the hour on The History Channel would be perfect for hawking its luxury cars.
History buffs might be a desired demo, but one wonders how many adults are sitting at home watching TV at two in the afternoon — and presumably out of work — will run right out and snap up these pricey little go-carts.
7:25 p.m. — Let the politico promos begin: Denver City Council candidate Nick Nuanes ponied up for a spot on Fox News during the Hannity & Colmes fest on the federal budget.
7:50 p.m. — Terry's Consign and Design grabbed airtime on HGTV, during Decorating Cents, a show devoted to interior design on a thin pocketbook. Yeah, but how will someone else's ottoman look in my house?
8 p.m. — Dealin' Doug revisits Cartoon. This time he's sporting a winter coat and showing how well his cars do in the Rocky Mountain climate. It runs during anime fare. Dealin' Doug does sell Mitsubishis.
8 p.m. — Local luxury toy provider All-American Spas bubbled warmly onto A&E's Cold Case Files. Yeah. When viewers think "serial killer," they will instantly think "hot tub."
8:20 p.m. — Legal Eagle ambulance chaser Darrell S. Elliott took up 30 seconds during BET's ComicView, advising watchers not to sell their rights away if some idiot driver plows into them.
8:25 p.m. — Whoo-hoo! A pair of locals on CNN Headline News: Tynan's Volkswagen/Isuzu/Nissan led the way, plugging its upcoming liquidation fire sale. Then came a spot from Ari Zavaras, the city's former police chief, who is now in the running to become Denver's next big wheel as mayor.
8:45 p.m. — Local station KCNC is promoting a stomach-churning investigative report on "use only once" medical equipment that is being illegally reused. AMC is airing Paul Newman-Joanne Woodward potboiler, The Long, Hot Summer.
Sex and surgical malpractice: a perfect match.
10:30 p.m. — Hey, Denver City Council candidate Kirk Scheitler even got his mom in the act for his spot! It's showing on CNN.
10:30 p.m. — The Denver Mattress Co. settled its ad spot around the Hallmark Channel's Robert Wagner flick, Indiscreet. It's a fit: The story is about mattress antics.
11 p.m. — Empire Glass cranked up a spot right next to Fox Sports Net Rocky Mountain. Ironically, it was just after the Avalanche cracked against the Minnesota Wild, losing in overtime. Given fan frustration levels, there may be more than a few crushed windshields in Denver tonight.